how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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