I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
