That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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