I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Randomize
