was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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