wake up i wanna do it froggy style
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
farters have to be the big spoon...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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