were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
