you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
