I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
