apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
