Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
