I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you traded sex for a burrito?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
