i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You need Xanax blowdarts
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
