everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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