buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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