i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
