Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you had me at cake vodka
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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