Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
