It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
