tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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