im drinking this country out of the recession.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
