What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
