ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we're making bets on your personal life
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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