Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
