Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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