What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
