hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
