I wanna passion pit in your ass
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
