Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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