So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
