that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i think my cat just said my name.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
