some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
