sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
