I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
only you would photoshop your dick
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
