I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
