they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
