If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
