ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
