apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
