just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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