Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
This baby is an asshole
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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