So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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