I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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