My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
