every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
