I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
