let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
