He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
