Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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