I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
