i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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